BAHHHAHAAA OHHHH MAN. I just read the best review of Fifty Shades of Grey EVERRRR. I fucking loathe that series.
No, I have not read it. No, I will not give it a chance. No, I will never read it or even attempt to read it. Before it was this asinine phenomena, Lauren described it to me and I responded with, "That sounds dumb as fuck". I stand by that statement.
And since I know you're super interested now, here's the link to the review http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215 When you read it all (you totally should) there's a link to the next book review at the end. I read all three. They were highly entertaining.
I tweeted the link to Ashley. I expect very angry backlash from her. Ashley and I often have this conversation about why we are even friends. Other than the fact that our dads made us be friends and we grew up with each other, I'm not really sure.
It's funny to me because she doesn't come off as the kind of person who would believe in fairytale love and the sort, but she totally does. It drives me fucking crazy. Especially after being around me for so long, you would think my uncaring nature would rub off a little. I guess I'm stupid for thinking that.
I remember when we were getting ready for the Mardi Gras parade (and subsequently, this year, her birthday) and she had to redo her nails because she painted them before bed and they smudged. I said, "Who fucking cares, let's go". I seriously thought she was going to have a meltdown. Her reasoning was that she's "single" so she had to have nicely painted nails.
GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! When...PLEASE TELL ME WHENNNNN is the last time a guy (a heterosexual guy) noticed your painted fucking fingernails. ESPECIALLY AT BOOB-FEST MARDI GRAS. Oh wait...never?! That's NEVER happened and it will never happen. Don't give me your boo-hoo, I'm single bullshit. Maybe you're single because you waste time painting your nails and reading shit like Fifty Shades of Grey.
Which brings me back to Fifty Shades of Grey. Women rant and rave about how amazing this series is. Even my uber-feminist friend commented to me "Umm....Christian Grey obviously hasn't come to visit you in your dreams or you would be singing a different tune, my friend. Bahahaaaa :)". No, he sure has not. And hopefully, he never will, unless it is for me to kill him. I'm not down with that dark, brooding bullshit. You're not brooding, you're just a douchebag.
Have you ever seen the movie The Secretary? That's what I get out of this book. A sad, pathetic (virgin...ahahahaa) girl who is fucked up in the head enough to stay with someone who is abusive. And somehow, everyone seems to overlook the abuse of this "plot" (it gets quotations because I'm not sure it's a real plot) because of the sex. If you are that fucking sex deprived, watch some porn. I watch porn. Girls can't admit that, but they can admit to reading trash? I don't get it.
I read Jezebel articles a lot because they're hilarious and my kind of humor. They often talk about things like..."How to Catch the Perfect Man" but really it's making fun of an article that someone honestly wrote titled that. And the articles they are making fun of are always ridiculous shit like, "Wear neutral make up that shows that you're not trying too hard, but just hard enough". What?! Fuck you. I hate wearing make up. Unless I'm going "out" or...that's about it, I rarely wear make up.
In fact, I don't even wear make up to work unless I have a meeting or something. Even then, I think it's bullshit that to be taken seriously professionally, I have to wear make up and a nice outfit. Because my intelligence isn't enough, ohhh, but if you're a guy, everything is dandy.
I sound like a huge feminist and I'm totally not. I just like to think that as a collective society, we have come further than...shit I don't even know. Holding women up to unrealistic standards while men get to have a beer belly and never shave? Yeah, that's it, basically. And when I realize that no, we have not really progressed at all, it saddens me. Not just looking at sexism either, also racism, or discrimination of any sort.
I'm not a feminist, at all really. I totally would like to get married one day. I think. But if I don't, it won't be because I'm a man hater. I don't even blame it on men that that's how our society (and most of the world) works. If it wasn't for the perpetuation of the stereotype, then it wouldn't exist, right? That takes all those who perpetuate it into account, including myself.
I think I'm literally running in circles now. I now feel like writing this was a gigantic waste of my time.
In other news: Our regional boss is resigning. He, along with our CEO and several other people, will be here tomorrow for meetings and such. Yippie. I'm leaving work early today because Amy and I decided it was a good idea. This weekend is our annual float trip, and I took Monday off for recovery. Next week is my 2nd O2 society, which I put together, all by mahself. Andddd.......my cell phone contract with Chris is up this month. That's about it.
Good day.
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