Being awesome

Today I want to applaud myself on being fucking awesome.  I have dealt with so much shit this week, and I'm just letting it roll off me.  In fact, I'm in a pretty good mood today.  I'll attribute this to my positive affirmations and projections.  I think that this week would have been a test for even the most level headed, sane person.  Starting about this time last week, it was one thing after another. 

In fact, things were so bad, that I don't even feel like rehashing them.  I just want to forget they happened and move forward.  Because what else can you really do?

Regardless, I am mentally in a better place now.  Tonight is the second O2 event that I've put together and it's at Schlafly, during their farmer's market.  I'm excited to eat some awesome food and attend the market. 

I've had an outpouring of unsolicited support (and sometimes, even unknown) from friends lately, including some from the Sentience Shared group on FB :-)

Friday I'm going to eat and to dinner with Shaila, Kylie and Ashley S, then we're going out.  I'm getting excited about Italian Fest.  I have dinner with Courtney on Monday.  I am happy and carefree.  Carefree without forgetting my responsibilities, but without letting them overwhelm me. 

This is the first time in my life I have worked through issues by myself, without the aid of medication and without having a complete breakdown.  It looked bleak for a minute, but got better really quickly, and for that I am extremely thankful.

I'm been trying to stay mindful about giving thanks for life everyday, and that thought always helps me remember who I am and allows me to feel whole.

The other day, after an entire day of meditation and positive affirmations I came across a short...well, lesson from Pema Chodron, who is a Tibetan Buddhist.  I have came across the lesson many times in my life, and never really understood it until last week.  The lesson goes like this:

There is a story of a woman running away from tigers. She runs and runs and the tigers are getting closer and closer. When she comes to the edge of a cliff, she sees some vines there, so she climbs down and holds on to the vines. Looking down, she sees that there are tigers below her as well. She then notices that a mouse is gnawing away at the vine to which she is clinging. She also sees a beautiful little bunch of strawberries close to her, growing out of a clump of grass. She looks up and she looks down. She looks at the mouse. Then she just takes a strawberry, puts it in her mouth, and enjoys it thoroughly. Tigers above, tigers below. This is actually the predicament that we are always in, in terms of our birth and death. Each moment is just what it is. It might be the only moment of our life; it might be the only strawberry we’ll ever eat. We could get depressed about it, or we could finally appreciate it and delight in the preciousness of every single moment of our life.

The lesson is to live life in the present moment and appreciate what you have, right now.  Because there are always "tigers above, tigers below", because life is between birth and death and all you can do is appreciate what is happening now.  So I decided that I want "Tigers above, Tigers below" in a tattoo.  I can't figure out where, but I'm thinking on my collar bone. 

All in all, things are really good right now :-)