Failed to mention

In one of my posts from last week I talked about how I meditated on the heart, as suggested by Deepak Chopra, and what an amazing experience it was.  However, I failed to mention something else about that experience.

Right before I meditated, I also watched Ask Teal's vlog.  It was part two of a two part segment.  The first was about the existence of demons, the second about the existence of angels.  In both she says that both demons and angels do exist, but demons are brought on by our negative frequencies, while angels are light beings.  She talked about how "angels" communicate, often through signs.  She specifically said, to my excitement, that 11:11 is often a time when they communicate with you because 11 is a divine number :-) That thought still makes me smile.  She said they communicate through other signs, and that nothing should be thought of as a coincidence and if you ask a question and meditate on it, you often get an answer in the form of a sign.

After my heart meditation, I sat in silence for awhile because the experience was so overpowering, yet it allowed me to really be at peace with myself and clear my mind, which is usually hard for me to do.  After the silence, when I still felt the oneness, I decided to ask some questions and see if I received any answers then, or throughout my day.

The one synchronicity that I experienced was really overpowering.  I had asked if I should continue talking to Matt, if that experience was aiding me in my life purpose, or whether I should let the situation fade away.  This makes me feel really lame, because I tend to shy away from my emotions, but it was pretty errie.  So I was with Ashley going to Fairview and she had her phone on random on some playlist.  There were two country songs and then a Taking Back Sunday song.  Matt and I both really like TBS, but so do a lot of people (like, Ashley, obviously).  What was more strange though was that the song was "Ghost Man on Third", which is the song that Matt has some of the lyrics tattooed on his arm. 

Sometimes I have this weird thing happen to my body, and this was one of those times.  This weird tingly, chill sensation washes over my body and I start to blackout.  I have never actually blacked out, but my vision goes dark and I hear a loud buzzing noise for a few seconds.  It's really weird.  Then I got goosebumps....so that's kind of how that went. 

In other news of things I don't want to talk about...I told Matt I loved him...again.  But I wasn't on Xanax.  I was a little drunk, but I meant it.  He response was, "Did you take Xanax" lol.  The next day I reaffirmed that I meant it and he said he knew.  I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day, but he told me goodnight.  That was Saturday.  I talked to him a little yesterday and when I stopped responding he told me goodnight. 

I don't think he quite knows what to think about it really.  Which is fine, I just have been thinking about it for awhile and I can't keep my mouth shut.  And besides, it's true.  As a culture, we are conditioned to believe that you can only really, truly love one person.  That is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.  Who's only been in love with one person?  Even if you marry your "first love", which I know many people who have and are still together, you can't say you don't love anyone else.  If we can love our significant other, our family, friends, children, etc, isn't it ridiculous to say we only have the capacity to love one person?  It is.

That being said, Matt might think I'm crazy, but I guess he's ok with it.  I'm not crazy, I'm expressive and fun.  So.