Have you ever had something happen to you and you were just like, what in THE FUCK was that?! Well I had that happen last night.
Matt and I went to Red Bar after he got off work. Everything was fine and normal, or as normal as things can be when you hang out with Matt. I was listening to this guy talk to my right. I told Matt he was African. We had like a three minute discussion about it. Matt said something like, listen to him talk. And I was like...uh huh lol he has an accent. That was about it.
Suddenly, African man is over introducing himself to us. Ok, cool, whatever. It was a little awkward, but I figured he would wander away. He seemed to be pretty drunk. But no, he talked and talked.
He was like, you guys are a beautiful couple blah blah blahhh. WEIRD. We are not a couple. I guess he somehow sensed shortly after he said it that we weren't and was like, "Matt why don't you lock it down? She is beautiful, lock her down". This went on for several minutes. Then he starts telling me, "You love Matt, why don't you want to be with him? You guys should be together" and on and on and on. I'm not even kidding. And it got worse.
African man, whose name was Samson, would NOT leave me alone about being with Matt. Like, seriously. Going on and on about how I love him. AND THEN he told Matt I think about him when I masturbate. I fucking shit you not, those words came out of his mouth. At this point, everyone in the bar was looking at us and I walked away and went to the bathroom. Of course someone was in the bathroom, so I had to wait. But I could STILL hear him talking and talking about me.
So I come back a few minutes later and he's still talking to Matt, and I'm like, we gotta go. Which Matt was fine with, of course. Samson, not so much. He's like, you guys can't go, blah blahhh. OMGOMGOMG. I seriously couldn't believe it was happening.
Here is the weirdest thing about it: How did Samson the African man know? I mean like, yeah, sure, drunken ramblings. How did it seriously, (seemingly) randomly happen to apply to us? Are there really such things as coincidences? Eckhart Tolle said, "Life will give you whatever experience is the most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness". In that thought, that experience was somehow helpful, as horrifying as it was, was it not?
I do love Matt, right now, in this experience. Was I going to tell the drunken African Samson that? No way in hell. Was almost all of what Samson said true? It fucking was. He asked Matt if he wanted to be with me and Matt said yeah. I don't know if he was trying to get him to shut up or if he was for real. I'm not going to ask though. If he is for real, I would hope he would tell me.
Out of the two + months Matt and I have been seeing each other, I've seen him more over the past week (post freak out!) than I ever have. And he's asked me to hang out every time. I've seen him 5 days in a row. That's a vast difference from him telling me he likes his space and doesn't like to hang out every day. Which I never said I wanted to in the first place, he did.
At this point, I'm literally going with the flow. Yes, I am putting other people off for him. I'm ok with that. If nothing serious ends up happening with us, I'm ok with that. I'm glad he's in my life right now. I would like him to stay, but I can't have control over him. For once in my life, I am ok with not having control. It feels good actually.
.........
Aside from that weirdness (oh and now that I'm thinking about it, Matt tweeted this morning and said "U WUV MUT", which is essentially what the African man was saying, I love Matt lol), it's freezing in my office. Well, I'm freezing. Which is nothing new. I hate it though. I hate being cold ALL the time. On often think that I might actually be cold blooded. My hands and feet are like ice. The temp is set at 71. A normal person would not be cold.
I had something else I was going to say, and I completely forgot....I hate that!
Well, this is on my mind. Matt wouldn't have sex with me last night. This annoys THE SHIT out of me. You are male, you should ALWAYS want to have sex. I told him he was acting like a 45 year old woman. He said I was being mean. Whatever! Then he said he was going to stay with me while my family is gone so we'll be having sex a lot. My response was, "What if I die before then? What if you die before then"? This did not convince him. I'm still mad about this and haven't talked to him today.
But it is nice to think about sleeping with him. The African also mentioned something about how I miss Matt at night. What the FUCK dude, quit tuning in to my brain. Not while I'm trying to hang out and drink. What a weird experience.
I actually took off Monday and Tuesday of next week. It's going to be so nice with no one in my house to bug me. I can't wait to move the fuck out. I literally passed up going to Jamaica so that I could be alone. It's going to be amazing.
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