Manifestation

This may be crazy, but I don't think it is.  If anyone reads this, reader, you may think it's crazy.  But it's not.  Especially if you understand that what you put out into the world is, in fact, energy.  And that the energy will, in fact, come back to you.  Not in the sense of Americanized "karma" but in the sense of real karma, in the sense of vibrations, the sense of a..."manifest destiny", so to speak.  

Those things being said, if something for Chris doesn't change soon, (ie-his disposition, vibrations and thoughts) he is going to die.  I know this inherently.  After the conversation I had with my grandpa tonight, I think my grandpa feels that too.

This is intensely scary for me, but for no real reason.  Death is not something to fear.  There is no Heaven or Hell.  After physical death is natural spirit state.  I have never been afraid of my own death, clearly, being in intensive care for an overdose.  I am not afraid for death for anyone else.  I guess it's just the pain from the survivors that I am afraid of.  And also the blame.  I feel as if I will blame myself.  

That being said, I felt the need to address this.  After the conversation with my grandpa, thoughts I've had, and an article by Teal Scott, I need to let it out.  Maybe it won't happen.  I hope not.

Either way, since I broke up with Chris, he has managed to bring nothing but negativity into his life.  Literally a day after we broke up, he burned this shit out of his hand.  Extensively.  Emergency room visit, antibiotics, whole 9 yards.  About 10 days after that he had a 103 degree fever, no meds, no thermometer to check his temp and was delusional.  Had I not called and realized something was wrong, he could have had brain damage, or died.  Last week, a battery powered drill turned on in his arm, resulting in 16 stitches.  He also found out his dad may have cancer.  

I just don't understand how a person can manifest all of this into his/her life.  Why would you want to?  For sympathy?  Because you really do want to die?  I just can't grasp it.  

With all of this being said, I hope he does fix it.  Life cannot be enjoyable in that state.